Tips for Happy Parenting

Relaxed, calm  and trust based calm, no anger parenting. ( Oh Lord!!! when will I master this??)

Working on ourselves as parents, is one the best things that we can do for our children, as children tend to mirror what they see their parents doing.

Respecting their point of view. Respecting the kids. Trying to fulfill your unfulfilled expectations through the child might not be a good idea and more than often backfire with few exceptions. For e.g: pushing a child to learn something that he or she is least interested in for years together. Doing this might actually hamper the child's ability to figure out their unique natural capabilities or strengths. Its different when the child really enjoys the skill introduced and excels in it, owing to natural inclination.

Deepak Chopra in his book - Seven Spiritual laws of success says that one of the main things that he wanted his kids to figure out was, what was their true calling/skill/strength/. They were encouraged to identify what was it that did not seem like work? What was it that they enjoyed and could work on for hours together without feeling worked up.

Set clear limits, boundaries,  and set clear consequences if boundaries are broken. 

Finding common grounds of interest.

Always have their back. Do not judge, tell them whats right or wrong in your opinion.

Providing a structure or routine helps a child to focus better. First work, then fun is a good practice to follow. Yet, refrain from leaning towards a check listed life. The idea of having a routine probably made involving the child provides a structure to the child's day and thought process, and hence leads to a more peaceful and calm environment at home as well, instead of an unstructured and chaotic environment.

Interact with the child and be interested in their education. Encourage public speaking and express opinion in different topics.  I more than often fail to help acting upon this skill, and have been thinking of fun ways of developing this skill. Any pointers are appreciated.

Ensure approximately regular bedtimes.

Tackle poverty now for a better future.

Encourage doing chores that are optimum for their age.  Here are some resources for young kids: 

• Chore Guide
• Can do Kids Chores

You can consider paying them if they do a chore that is not part of their duty.

Do not label a child - Oh wow you are an artist! Encourage the skill.

Resilience - try, fail, learn from mistakes, try again.

Encourage reading & outdoor playing.

Encourage to do what they love doing.

Love them unconditionally. This is one of the most important life advice suggested by the legendary Warren Buffet.

Managing their demands - The following three ideas are from the book - The Opposite of Spoiled.

• Ask them to write a write up or fancy project about why they need something. If nothing else, it will buy you some time.
• Making them understand that the difference between the hours of the value derived from the thing versus the cost.
• Try to make them understand the difference between needs and wants.

 

  I recently joined the  group- Buy Nothing Project - Lot of people pass things on. I myself pass on toys. This works quite favorably, and the child also understands the concept of sharing and giving. 

 

 A child should have self-belief, to face the consequences of their actions. 

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